What’s your dream? If you had asked me that question 10 years ago, I would’ve told you that my dream was to become a Registered Nurse (RN). I was 20 years old and working as a Certified Nursing Assistant (CNA) at the time. I strived for a 4.0 GPA in order to be accepted into nursing school. Every ounce of energy that I had was utilized for my future profession. I was passionate about pursuit.

Job title aside, motherhood was on my radar too. I’d envisioned the white picket fence, dreamy husband, and cute onesies. All of this was definitely in my periphery, but nursing was in my direct line of sight. I figured that my career would be all that I really needed out of life. The eventual creation of a family would just be a bonus.

Then, nursing school started. I was excited to put perfectionism into practice while helping as many people as I could. I thought I was well on my way to fulfilling my dream, but I felt empty while reaching for it. Nursing school was tough. I often found myself questioning whether I actually wanted to be a nurse or if I’d simply stumbled into it by being afraid of other interesting educational endeavors. Once I graduated and job-hopped, it really began to sink in: I didn’t feel passionate about where I’d landed.

All of that work and all of those jobs didn’t leave me feeling satisfied or happy. I felt as if something was missing, but I couldn’t quite put a finger on what it was. After years of rolling through the punches of the healthcare industry, I applied to graduate school in an effort to broaden my horizons. Two weeks after my acceptance letter, I discovered that I was pregnant. Four weeks after that, I discovered that I was having twins. God was sending me a MAJOR message.

Since having my girls, I’ve discovered that my passion is bigger than my profession. I always thought that my dream was to become a nurse, but I’ve learned that my dream is actually in the hearts and minds of my daughters. All of those nose-to-the-grindstone years left me feeling empty because I hadn’t yet met the souls that would bring light and greater meaning into my life. Nursing (or any job for that matter) couldn’t possibly fill those shoes.

That being said, I’ve become a better nurse since becoming a mother. The powerful tug to pursue something else has all but disappeared. I more clearly understand that every patient is someone’s child. I can see their past and their pain in a whole new way. That connection can’t be broken now that it’s been brought into focus. Though I’ve always prided myself on having a good bedside manner, I now find that it’s even easier to access from the lens of a mother. I often ask myself “how would I like my children to be treated?” That question and subsequent answer adds a thick layer of empathy to the care that I provide on the job.

I have come to a pivotal point in my life where I have found purpose. The real kind of purpose that resonates deep within your soul and propels you forward toward your true self. My role as a nurse has improved because of my newfound perspective and warmth as a mother. My unrelenting need for pursuit has been satiated by my focus on my family and being the best mother that I can be. If you were to ask me about my dream now, I’d say that it’s to help my children live healthily and happily.

Ultimately, motherhood has offered me a window into the meaning of life. That sort of view changes you. Life isn’t about perfection. It isn’t about good grades, awards, licenses, or money. It’s about family, love, discovery, and growth. To me, it’s about the unique and beautiful souls that God has entrusted me with, both as a mother and as a nurse. My soul is all the more content because of it.