After celebrating my 31^st birthday this week, I knew that I had to write about it! Ten years ago, I would’ve balked at the prospect of spending my birthday in solitude, but that is exactly how I spent my special day this time around.

While my partner has been deployed, I’ve had very little time to myself. My idea of self-care has consisted of rushed bubble baths and splurges on fancy whole coffee beans that I grind as twin toddlers pull at my pant legs. Suffice it to say, I’ve been burned out, exhausted, and overstimulated.

When my gracious parents asked me what I wanted for my birthday, I emphatically said “alone time” and that’s exactly what they gifted me. I was able to celebrate another year of life by sitting alone in a movie theater and sipping on coffee without it getting cold. They watched the girls so that I could muster up the energy and self-love to return to them with a refreshed spirit and rested body. I couldn’t ask for a better gift for both myself and my children.

In addition, I gifted myself a short break from socialization and picked out my very first pair of “mom jeans.” I hadn’t had a chance to find a pair that fit my body after babies, but my leggings deserved a serious vacation. Call me basic or boring, but I felt confident trying on some new boot-cut denim. I had received social, physical, and emotional rest as well as a new outfit that made me feel comfortable in my skin. It was a perfect introduction to a new age.

What once would’ve caused insecurity has now become my idea of a perfect day in celebration: time alone. I don’t want a party; I want peace. I don’t want to dress up; I want to be comfortable. I don’t want to plan something; I want the day to unfold organically. This is in stark contrast to the younger version of myself who felt compelled to have social plans every birthday lest she be a loser.

And then there are my daughters who gifted me the best birthday present of all: their existence. Without them, I wouldn’t have grown into a woman so in love with spending quality time in her own mind. Although they were part of the reason for requesting rest, they were and are the reason for finding value in it. Without rest, I can’t possibly be the best version of myself. With it, I can be the type of woman and mother who teaches them the importance of quality time with the one who knows them best: themselves.

So here I am. 31 years old and ready for another year of adventure in a super rad new pair of jeans.