Becoming a mother has opened my eyes to the many expectations placed on women. It’s no wonder so many new mothers experience anxiety and depression. Fortunately, with the existence  of the world wide web, we have quick access to knowledge that other women have gained during each phase of motherhood. In an effort to join others in sharing what they’ve learned, I’ve created a list of valuable observations and conclusions that I made during those first revolutionary months:

1. Your friendships will change because you’ve changed. Nurture those that grow with you.
2. There will be no shortage of advice that others give you and much of it will not apply to parenting multiples.
3. Postpartum depression screenings are not all-encompassing. PPD can present in ways that you may not expect.
4. Don’t make comparisons and don’t make it a competition. Motherhood looks different for everyone, especially on social media.
5. Parenting doesn’t get easier. It continuously evolves and you adapt to it as it does.
6. People will constantly ask you when you’re going to “try for a boy.” Remind them that girls are equally as wanted.
7. In contrast, people will assume that you don’t want more children because you’ve had twins. You can’t win so don’t try to.
8. Things will not go according to plan. Flexibility is your new best friend.
9. You will fall deeper in love with your partner when you watch them love your babies.
10. Breastfeeding and pumping are not easy. It’s OK to not want to do either.
11. Yes, you still gave birth. Don’t let anyone tell you that a C-Section doesn’t count.
12. Set boundaries with others early. People-pleasing can no longer be in your repertoire.
13. You will wake up multiple times a night to make sure your babies are breathing. Cue the constant paranoia!
14. You don’t have to read every article, book, or forum under the sun. Women have been raising children for plenty of centuries without them.
15. You will have to put your pride aside and ask for help. It doesn’t make you weak.
16. Post as many baby pictures as you want. If others don’t care to see them, they don’t have to be your friends.
17. You’ll see people differently. Life is viewed from a lens in which everyone is someone’s baby. Empathy thrives here.
18. You’ll find that your dreams will change and that your profession doesn’t define you as it once did.
19. The laundry will pile up and the dishes will sit in the sink for longer than you’d like. This doesn’t mean you’re failing.
20. It may not feel real in the early months. Adopting a new identity takes time.
21. The love you have for them is bigger, deeper, and richer than you thought possible. It will change the way you view life entirely.

To all of my fellow new moms: you are amazing, inspiring, and worthy of all of the joy that motherhood brings you. I had no idea what it took to nurture life until now, but I’m so glad that I’ve been gifted this chance to learn. I hope you are too. Sending hugs.